With an open discourse around the dynamic nature of modern relationships, more and more people are recognizing & coming out as non-monogamous individuals. This means that these people do not identify with the mainstream culture of living and spending their life with a single partner. A polyamorous individual is one who is open to having multiple sexual as well as romantic partners at the same time. Keeping the trend alive, now the unicorn couple has also started looking out for a third partner to add some casual one-night fun or a long-term romantic commitment.
As it can be tricky to find a way through this new form of relationship, here’s an exclusive guide for all the Unicorn couples to figure out how to go about their search for a third partner. Let’s first understand what the term Unicorn means.
What is a Unicorn?
Unicorn is a person who is willing to enter into a polyamorous arrangement as the third wheel with an existing couple, except they are not only a third wheel but an equal part of the ride. The nature of this arrangement may vary from anything from a long-term romantic throuple situation to a casual sexual encounter with no strings attached. Let’s begin to understand how a Unicorn Couple can go about looking for a great third for their relationship.
6 Steps to Approach a Unicorn Search
Talk It Out With Your Partner
Adding a third person to an existing relationship as a Unicorn couple isn’t the solution to repair or fix a monogamous relationship as it would only make it worse. There can be so many added insecurities with the entry of a Unicorn and flimsy monogamy cannot handle the weight of it. Therefore, it is extremely important to discuss the option with your partner before anything else. Only if they understand the concept and the idea behind it & give their consent to a poly dating or hookup setting should you proceed with finding a Unicorn. You must also lay down the rules and expectations that you both have out of this threesome individually if they want a long-term polyamorous relationship or just a one-night stand so that the communication between a couple is sorted and in sync.
Put Yourself Out There As a Couple or Individually
Once you have laid the groundwork & are ready to add a third person, you need to put yourself in the market. This can be done both as a couple or individually being the rep of the whole setting. Look out for the avenues where you could find a Unicorn like sex parties, swinger clubs, or maybe a few other IRL events apart from the obvious choice of signing up on Online dating apps as a Couple seeking a Unicorn. There are various online dating apps, unicorn portals, & some exclusive ones like BiCupid.com. A few of the existing platforms even allow couples to make a joint profile so that the unicorn candidates get a clear idea of what they’re getting into & the singles on the app don’t mistake individual profiles as interested monogamists.
Vocalize Your Needs & Expectations
As a Unicorn Couple, it is of utmost importance that you sell yourself well whenever dealing with a potential unicorn. Get into the depth of details with what your expectations and needs are in this unicorn setting as the umbrella term only covers the broad meaning of the term. The intra-institutional variations very much exist and should be acknowledged by the couple. This is why it is the responsibility of the couple to communicate well in their threesome dating site bio about the kind of polyamory they are looking for if it would be a long-term relationship or just a one-night thing, What role do they want the unicorn playing during sex? Where will they be meeting? Can they stay over after the sex or call a cab & bounce? What are your hard limits as a couple? etc.
Set Up a Date With Your Unicorn
After you have agreed upon a common favorite as a Unicorn couple, keep in mind that your first meeting with them should never be the one where you’re all getting naked. Take your time getting to know this person, and discuss the logistics of the threesome before you get down to the real business. It’s better if you take them out on a date, and buy them drinks or food so that this can be a little ice-breaking session for the three of you and even they can get some time to get an idea of what you guys are like as a couple. Since there would be two of you going as a couple, make sure that the dynamic never gets intimidating or high-pressure for them where the two of you are constantly blasting questions at them.
Respect Their Fantasies & Expectations
A unicorn couple often skips this step thinking that they’re in the majority and the ones leading the whole setup. This is definitely not true as it is downright uncool to treat the unicorn like a sex commodity transferrable between the two of you for fun. Know that they are going to be an equal part of the relationship with equal weightage of needs, expectations, and feelings. You cannot disregard what they have come looking for out of the threesome setup. So, the couple needs to be a good listener as a unit and take note of all the things that the unicorn desires & whatever they mentioned in their adultfriendfinder.com bio if that’s where you matched with them. Whatever the arrangement is going to be, you need to make sure that they feel included throughout as they are by default the odd one out.
Communicate Throughout The Course
The communication & talking part of the deal does not end as soon as the clothes are off. All three involved units need to be mature enough to continue the communication to make sure everyone is happy with the arrangement. This holds true for both a long-term polyamorous relationship as well as a one-time sexual encounter that you found via Fuckbook.com. It is important to keep checking in with everyone involved & ensure their comfort. While having sex, make everyone feel like a part of it and spend time fulfilling the individual desires of all three parties. What matters most is that everyone should have fun during sex and the relationship should remain healthy without any feelings of insecurity or animosity.
In the end, going about a healthy polyamorous relationship takes respect, empathy & understanding for everyone involved apart from the great sex that you’ll get. It is extremely crucial to maintain a balance to prevent any insecurity or jealousy to pop up. Reiterating the fact that unicorns cannot repair a flimsy monogamous relationship, we would just add that the added person would only bring more problems into the relationship dynamic and make it worse. For the sex part, hold onto a few basic details such as communication throughout the act, respecting individual boundaries and hard limits as well as seeking consent every part of the way even if you sought it at the beginning. You cannot assume their consent before you explore a new position or foreplay technique which is why it is the most obvious yet the most important part. Oh, and don’t forget to have loads of fun!
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Q.1 How to find a Unicorn for a couple?
Ans. Below are a few simple steps that you need to keep in mind in order to approach a Unicorn for a couple:
- Communicate well with your existing partner about the nature of the arrangement & if they consent to it
- Make an attractive online dating profile as a Unicorn couple to find a third
- Establish ground rules, hard & soft limits, individual boundaries, etc which must all be respected
- Make sure you’re on the same page with regard to the fantasies, fetishes, and expectations from the overall experience
- Acknowledge and respect the feelings of everyone involved
- It’s completely fine if one of you decides to revoke consent just before sex
Q.2 What is a Unicorn Couple?
Ans. A Unicorn couple is one who is looking to add a third person to the mix for some fun. The nature of the relationship may vary from anything between a long-term romantic polyamorous one to a casual sexual encounter.
Q.3 How to be a Unicorn for a couple?
Ans. Follow the steps below to be an ideal Unicorn in a polyamorous setup:
- Be sure that you’re ready for a commitment or a threesome and only then sign up for it
- Stay away from couples where one of them might not be very interested in the setup
- Put across all your needs and expectations from the arrangement on the table so that there’s no miscommunication
- Never lose perspective of yourself while entering & dealing with an existing couple
- Communicate your personal boundaries & make sure you are respected